Mobile, Alabama Kink Enthusiasts (MAKE) FetLife group Fetish & BDSM Club
Address: Mobile, AL, USA
For those of us who live in Mobile, Alabama. This is a great way to get to know other kinksters in your area!!! PLEASE DO NOT START A “HI I’M NEW” THREAD, THERE IS AN INTRODUCTION THREAD, WHICH WAS CREATED FOR SAID PURPOSE
MAKE is not an active group at this time – I am currently leaving this page up so that other groups throughout the area (The Gulf Coast and other close areas) can cross-post information, particularly about events and other important news.
As noted, you are welcome to say hello on the Introduction thread in the Sticky area at the top of the threads.
- 21 AND OLDER. UNDER 21, WE ARE SORRY BUT YOU CAN NOT PARTICIPATE IN GROUP ACTIVITY. PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE, PROVISIONS WILL BE MADE FOR MUNCHES TO BE HELD FOR 18-20 YEAR OLDS,AS OF NOW, THIS IS NOT THE CASE.
- NO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL AT PARTIES, AND ALCOHOL AT MUNCHES ARE OK IN MODERATION. DO NOT SHOW YOUR ASS. DO NOT POSSESS OR SHOW UP UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ILLEGAL DRUGS….. YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH!
- NO BLANK PROFILES. IF YOUR PROFILE IS NOT COMPLETED, AND THERE ISN’T SOMETHING ABOUT WHO YOU ARE/WHAT YOU WANT….. WE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE A PREDTOR AND TROLLING OUR BOARDS. YOU WILL NOT PREY ON MAKE MENBERS.
- CONFIDENTIALITY! NO PICTURES ARE TO BE TAKEN OUTSIDE OF DESIGNATED TIME OR WITHOUT EXPRESS CONSENT OF THOSE IN THE PICTURES. THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT…. VIOLATION OF THIS RULE WILL RESULT IN EXPULSION- NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
*****NOTE- the no penetration rule stands for the moment, but there may be provisions where toys/fingers are allowed, or perhaps in an after party only situation.
- Never play if you have not eaten at least a bit.
- Do not interrupt another’s scene – it is rude and offensive. If you think that the dominant is going too far and hurting his bottom, report it to a dungeon master (from now on called a DM) and they will see to the situation. Remember that sometimes people play in such a way that you might think that something is wrong, but it just might be their style. As an example, I saw a couple playing once – the woman was caning the man and he started bleeding after cursing at her and goading her to go harder. I thought she was being irresponsible by breaking skin, but she calmly continued and he continued screaming. I asked a DM about it and he laughed, telling me that this was how they always played and that I should watch them after the scene. I did and the love that went into that aftercare, was simply inspirational.
- Use your safe word when you are being played with and you feel uncomfortable, but note that most parties or clubs have a general safe word too and if you have to use this safe word, the dominant will be asked to leave and would likely not return again.
- Nudity is mostly allowed, but penetrative sex is not allowed at most parties. There are some private parties where you would find it, but for many people BDSM is not equated with sex. Respect others if you find that you need penetration to end a scene, do so at home with that specific dominant.
- Do pay attention to the way people prefer to be addressed. Some dominants like being called Sir or Ma’am and it would only be common courtesy if you followed the leader in this respect.
- If you are the dominant, remember that the equipment is most likely limited and that you should limit your scenes in order to give most people an opportunity to play.
- If you are new and have never done this, you do not have to play. Watch the scenes and ask as many questions as you need to. People are always eager to answer them. This is a good way of seeing what activities you might be interested in and which of the local dominants are respected and play nice.
- Most parties have a dress code. Please ask your host before the event and stick to the code.
- Now, for possibly one of the most important rules, never approach another submissive that is obviously there with another dominant to ask to play with them and do not touch them at all. You have to ask the dominant’s permission to play with his “property” or “pet”, even if they are not in a long term relationship.
- Enjoy yourself. You got that!
BDSM has existed for many years. You can trace it back to Victorian times when games like this were played among the aristocracy. The “father” of BDSM or more accurately sadism and masochism (S&M) is said to be Marquis De Sade. He got his jollies torturing young women without their consent and died in disgrace after being arrested for this curious streak of madness he had. Since then, sadists have recognized their need to hurt someone and masochists recognized that they like to be hurt. The two were brought together and a leg of BDSM started to thrive.
It was still considered a mental illness though and people afflicted with this were not exactly broadcasting their deviant desires. Later still these practices were accepted as sane provided that the participants did not stop functioning effectively in society. With the advent of the Internet, BDSM exploded, or it just became more accessible. In order to convince a general populace that we are not out to kill each other or hurt each for life, the term SSC was coined.
SSC is an acronym for safe, sane and consensual. It is the basis of good practice in BDSM and the first thing anyone entering the lifestyle is taught. It is also our brand. We might be using whips and chains, but we do it safely, sanely and we all consent to it. I do not think that the masses have bought this yet, but still we live by this code. I know that I will not be involved with anyone who does not consent to an activity, knowing full well what they are getting into. Safe, sane and consensual has three legs.
The first element of it is to ensure that a risky activity is made as safe as possible by preparing for any eventualities that might lead to injury. The second part of it is to make sure that the activity is not one that would lead to death or serious injury or even a mental breakdown. Activities are monitored for the sanity of doing so. This has always been interesting to me, because we all do not agree on what sanity means. I think it is insane to jump out of a plane in mid-air, yet I also think there is nothing wrong with a paddling. The third element is the most important – consent. A responsible scene is set up when the dominant and submissive discuss what is going to happen, what all the risks are, what precautions have been taken and what should happen when things go wrong and then establish consent after that discussion. Consent means nothing if someone has no clue what flogging means and blindly gives their permission.
Then a new term emerged – RACK. Risk Aware Consensual Kink. This is the paradigm we as a couple prefer. First off, let me explain the term. RACK is basically understanding an activity and the techniques, knowing what the risks are, preparing to minimize those risks, and then consenting to the activity after full disclosure. It is much the same as SSC, but it has no vague terms such as safe or sane. How do I decide for someone else what safe or sane is supposed to mean. I do not have the right to dictate to others what they should find acceptable or how they should be doing
Making sense of all the acronyms and code words in BDSM communities can be a very difficult thing for people new to the scene, and for those people who just want to understand what all the hubbub is about. If a handsome man with a handful of toys comes to you at a play party and asks, “Would you like to do some blood sports with me, my dear?”, what exactly did he ask? A lovely long haired Domme orders you to your knees for a bit of foot worship? How about, “Girl, Let’s do a Japanese Bondage scene!” What the heck?
There are ten thousands words (that is just my estimate) used in describing or talking about BDSM Lifestyle play, scenes, and activities. Obviously, we don’t have time here (or interest) in defining every word used in the language of BDSM Lifestyle relationships, but a few basics can’t hurt.
BDSM – Most recognized as Bondage/Domination/Sado(Sadism)/Masochism. BDSM has evolved to also mean Bondage/Domination and Submission/Masochism.
D/s – Dominance and submission, can be a lifestyle and can also be a playstyle, limited to a defined period of time and space, called a ‘scene’.
Dominant (Dom for males, Dommes for females) – generally the ‘giver’ of sensation and the one who ultimately controls the flavor and intensity of a scene. Also referred to as Tops or Masters (Mistresses).
submissive – usually the ‘receiver’ of sensation and the one who generally gives over their ‘power’, whether for a short, prescribed period of time, as in a scene, or for longer or indefinite periods of time. Slaves are often self-described and accepted to have given over all control, power and decision making to another, often called Master or Mistress.
DM, or Dungeon Monitor – People trained in equipment and scene safety that are present at most clubs during play parties to ensure the safety and comfort of partygoers.
Mentor – male or female teachers for new submissives and/or Dominants. Often, a mentor has no sexual or sometimes even has no physical relationship with the mentoree, but is available to guide, encourage and at times, discipline the mentoree, for their personal growth and safety.
Dungeon – A playspace designed and equipped to facilitate BDSM scenes. May be a permanent or a temporary space. Many permanent dungeons host a multitude of events, such as workshops, demos, dances and classes. Usually, a social area, for conversation and refreshments, is set off a bit from the main dungeon space to give a sense of eroticism and safety to all parties participating.
Whipping Post, Spanking Bench, Horse, Rack, Sling, Stage, Gurney, Autopsy Table, and more – all pieces of equipment commonly found in both permanent and temporary dungeons. Often, the dungeon equipment is ‘put away’ or dismantled to make room for other activities, such as dances and workshops. Many scene players find that they really love one piece of equipment or another, and vie to be first in line to use that piece, week after week.
Flogger, Whip, Singletail, Paddle, Cane, Strap, Birch, Tawse, Feather Duster, Wet Noodle – Toys that give varying intensity of sensation to the submissive or bottom, when applied by the dominant or top partner.
Age Play – Where partners engage in roleplaying people of different ages; usually the submissive partner (male or female) takes on a personality and actions of a young child. May or may not portray a verbal person, and may or may not be anything more than a nurturing relationship.
Blood Sports – Scenes involving cutting, piercing or other drawing of blood.
CBT – Cock and Ball Torture by various means: Bondage, clamping, flogging, etc of the male genitalia for erotic purposes.
Fetish – Love of an object or objects. Foot fetishists enjoy, often crave, foot apparel, foot massage, and foot worship, for example. A fetish can be any object or need that is required for an individual to achieve sexual satisfaction.
Gor, Gorean – Author John Norman wrote a series of fantasy books, describing a fictional world of slavery and sex. Elements of this fantasy world are often used in roleplay, and some adherents to the ‘Gor Lifestyle’ develop intense and complicated Gorean lifestyles.
Humiliation Play – A form of playful or erotic embarrassment, when practiced appropriately and within roleplay limits, can be intensely erotic. Inappropriate or denigrating humiliation is not within the standard ‘rules’ of BDSM practice and can cause emotional harm and damage.
Japanese Bondage – A variation on bondage that is usually highly decorative and intricate.
Limit – generally a pre-defined ‘end of scene’ limit, beyond which the bottom will not go in a scene. Although limits are usually understood to be those the submissive has, dominants also have limits.
Masochism – The ability to gain erotic satisfaction from pain. Levels and intensities of the pain vary for each individual, and can change due to a variety of causes.
Munch – A social gathering of BDSM’ers, usually held in a restaurant or other public gathering place, where conversation and fellowship is enjoyed. Most munches are not a place for fetish clothing, practices or demonstrations, as this would violate one of the basic priciples of the lifestyle – consent. The general public has not consented to be a part of ‘the scene’, so practitioners must not involve them non-consensually.
R/L or R/T – Real Life or Real Time, as opposed to V/L (Virtual Life) or V/T (Virtual Time). Many people explore the BDSM Lifestyle online only, for a variety of reasons. When a couple (or moreple) engages in daily life together while maintaining a BDSM or D/s relationship, this is called Real Time or 24/7, when practiced at all times in one way or another.
SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual, is a basic tenet of BDSM Play. Amore recent variation is RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. I like the term SSCF myself – Safe Sane Consensual and FUN.
Vanilla – Also called Mainstream. A term describing ‘non-kinky’ or straight sex and eroticism.
The lingo and language of BDSM can be tough to understand, sometimes even more so because of the unfamiliar practices involved in the lifestyle. There are a gazillion places to learn more about BDSM, D/s, Scenes and Fun in the Lifestyle. Hopefully, this article has given you a head start on understanding some of the terms and styles. Feel free to write me with any lifestyle questions you might have, and if I don’t know the answer, I will find it!